it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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