Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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