my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
