things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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