Will you blow on my dice?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
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I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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