she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
