Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
