Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
