I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my being single is dangerous.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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