it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
