Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
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So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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