i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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