dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
