I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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