Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
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A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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