Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
  Replies (20) Good night (769) Bad night (1508)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one

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  (405): so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one http://tfl.nu/mfz0
  Replies (46) Good night (991) Bad night (5077)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

  (850): View more from Florida

  I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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  (850): So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines. (850): I guess we all know what he was cookin. http://tfl.nu/lvcl
  Replies (15) Good night (1179) Bad night (3952)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.

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  (630): Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/mxjx
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (5010)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

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  (416): I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/k1ij
  Replies (7) Good night (3758) Bad night (1343)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.

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  (719): tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me. http://tfl.nu/76by
  Replies (17) Good night (4365) Bad night (1161)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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  (617): Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules. http://tfl.nu/6l2w
  Replies (21) Good night (3284) Bad night (842)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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  (330): BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day http://tfl.nu/u4vh
  Replies (9) Good night (1711) Bad night (751)
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  (518): View more from New York

  How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.

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  (518): How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day. http://tfl.nu/rh3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1677) Bad night (584)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.

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  (360): The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. http://tfl.nu/uweg
  Replies (14) Good night (2568) Bad night (587)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Boobs speak an international language.

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  (505): Boobs speak an international language. http://tfl.nu/m73t
  Replies (8) Good night (1457) Bad night (543)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.

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  (512): I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours. http://tfl.nu/179p
  Replies (8) Good night (539) Bad night (951)
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  (585): View more from New York

  We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE

  (585): View more from New York

  AND NO VODKA

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  (585): We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE (585): AND NO VODKA http://tfl.nu/16y5
  Replies (3) Good night (303) Bad night (600)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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  (425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3
  Replies (11) Good night (831) Bad night (447)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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  (732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u
  Replies (3) Good night (646) Bad night (422)

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