When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.