Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.

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(646): If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over. http://tfl.nu/pts9

Replies (10) Good night (562) Bad night (2165)
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(716): View more from New York

just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.

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(716): just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that. http://tfl.nu/r8dq

Replies (22) Good night (1770) Bad night (5813)
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(619): View more from California

Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

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(619): Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen. http://tfl.nu/rhei

Replies (27) Good night (1498) Bad night (6443)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.

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(419): Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night. http://tfl.nu/v4wy

Replies (6) Good night (917) Bad night (2226)
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(310): View more from California

I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.

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(310): I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right. http://tfl.nu/p298

Replies (2) Good night (1911) Bad night (1019)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.

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(902): In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused. http://tfl.nu/hdqu

Replies (5) Good night (1815) Bad night (792)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko

Replies (26) Good night (932) Bad night (1736)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours

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(403): Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours http://tfl.nu/wscg

Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (625)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp

Replies (6) Good night (3073) Bad night (1258)
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(206): View more from Washington

He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.

(415): View more from California

Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.

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(206): He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit. (415): Use your nursing skills for good, not evil. http://tfl.nu/0k9b

Replies (10) Good night (3622) Bad night (541)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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(702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0

Replies (19) Good night (4324) Bad night (632)
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(607): View more from New York

I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

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(607): I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know. http://tfl.nu/l46m

Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (491)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?

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(604): Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You? http://tfl.nu/pz94

Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (805)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car

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(757): I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car. (1-757): …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car http://tfl.nu/ri5o

Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (605)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.

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(864): Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on. http://tfl.nu/ak2b

Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (590)

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