i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.