Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize