I am in a vortex of obligation.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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