I'm drive I can fine osifer
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this just has baby written all over it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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