yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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