Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Panties = found
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