____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
