hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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