3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
