Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
