I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's blow job season.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize