Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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