White coat. Heels.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize