1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
