Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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