dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
