I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
