addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
