Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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