I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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