I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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