You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
