her vagina looked like bernie madoff
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
