Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
