You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
