lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
