so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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