I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
