It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize