hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize