i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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