Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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