So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dear god my vagina.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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