Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So many bounce houses so little time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
