I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
