it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
