come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
