so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
