That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My pussy is not your playground.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
