I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
