is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
