What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
