They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
4 words: hood of his car
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
