Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
